~Floating CerebRum~

Standing amidst rising hopes.

Clouded thoughts.

Inchless brain drain.

stagnant Thoughts!

Friendly FrenZy,

LoVe gone PaLe!

Soothing Hands tucked by veil.

LoveleSS LustY 'macy rotten..

AimleSS aRRow grounded before it toucheD

SpiRal waVes hovering 'round my 'BeLLum ~

seems DarK-lit lite wud ablazE forEveR!

StuCk in chAos; never wanted a-land. .

mouth Zipped for now n mite forever. .

Erect Cells crYing for reStrain!

So dead thn why n what kinda feel they Pain?!

Blood rusH sTranded; bursting Worn-out Vein . .

I feel like an idiot, a dumbASS moron-- who culdnt tell dt soo fast LiVinG be Gone!

When NumB starts to pain

and

Pain turns Too cold . .

like in icey blue frozen land

dumbstruck my Flite lands!!!!

Floating amidst - a deadlock brain- these thots put away for SALE!

Dumb wen i acT - these praises becomes A FACT!

Stolen is my peace. .

but this tym I wait for NO LEASE !

RaNdOm fLYeR~

Like standin amidst 2 black poles!N no whr2 go .

Like standin amidst spiral holes n getting no plc to fly.. .

Like standin amidst laid down traps wd No strip of escapade..

Like watchin ahead at sense n sensibility n not knowin which 1 to hold. .

Like woman wd responsibility yet no dame authority!!

Like pages full of poetry blown off d roof waitin fr air-power to get them on ground instantly.

.Like stage ful of emotions n no ppl to applaud.

Like my tea wdout ginger.

So restles yet holdin on to patience cmin frm nowhere i know; getting thru No plc i goo...

waiting for Aimless arrow2 strike sm1 be Known!!

RandoM nyt- flYer smtyms i Be :)

'ointment!

Dispointment within fraction of seconds
like blaze of lite penetrates thru everythin n
destroys al possible happier moments mountin upon in a day. ..
It jus cracks down mount of happiness buildin up in wait f perpectual High!!

**ClaMoR~

Fear Fire. .

Fear even a lil spark of it

but wat wen fire burnS within Me?

I say i'm all ears ..

ears to- SorroW, JoY of my dearies

but wat wen i myself need to be heard?

I give love ..

love wdout inch of ExpectinG back. .

But wat wen i fall apart in need of it . ?

I SettlE up ppl's life..

life al topsy turvy. .

But wat wen i'm amidst ChaoS?

I WipE tears away. .

But wat wen its only my pillow which knows dat even I cry fr Fray ?

Ppl talk about their secrets aloud to my earS

keepin thr trust in Me. .

But whrZ D- one i'l keep mine with?

Every1 is Gud n things be Gud fr all is

always wat all I PraY for. .

Do i hear few prayers back fr Me?

BUT

Fuckin Emotions n feel are fuckd harder. .

hard enuf to forget to ever rise back again .

Again to care for smbody dat i mite want to feel for. .

Guys lurkin out for pretty lads.
Frns for fun a day.
Parents after expectin u to b gr8 smthing 1 day .

Is anyone thinking bout--
MY emotional being
OR
way dat I may actually Feel or NeeD!?

If Only

i can get::
A lil hug of- u r- all i -need. .
Lil warmth to perk me wen i NEED!
there'l be No reason left to get High only with WeeD

And

Dat'll All be it

~~

O-hi-O High!!!

Extremities is wat i'v always loved to SwaY In with..
Love to indulge in Deepest of SinS!
live for my moments of -Ohio High!!

But, Na! i dont do things not knowing wat i'm ought to
know/Do...

2yrs. back sitting in Mentor's office I din realize how a few lineS frm a poster wud lead me living Life this way n believe me life surely has become LIFE!(dat everybody shuld b living like..) :)
but No! i'm not gonna preach on dat ( considering a frnZ golden words-'its No use giving An Advice unless asked for'-faltu ka GyaaN na baato) so,I reserve my cooments on how U shuld live ur life n proceed wd way I LIVE MINE! !

->( bk 2 mentor's office ) for other onlookers it mite just be another poster preaching gud old ideals. But Rajneesh's 10 a lines itched on my soul in way that it strtd acting on dt advice/ideal/philpsophy frm dat moment on..
I had always been a toothy (bracez helped confine it now) cheerful girl (or as touted by others watching my Smile) more often thn a-> : face ..
This cheerful girl has always tried to be happy,happier n happiest keping upto others expectations n rising way above in Geo-stationary-orbit n at a point of No-return wd only dead crash at d end!
Yes! like a phoeniX i've i've burned down several tyms but like PhoeniX's oth trait - everytym i rose up too frm ashes!- strong yet lil disheartened but sureup to MOVE ON!
most part f this disheatening came frm virtual off world~ I tried best not 2 repeat same mistakes again n tried tackling things in newer ways(afterall! running away is No Humanly trait)but hell only if i'd known dat types of mistakes commited is inversely proportionl to d new /kinds' cming up my way..n this viciuos diinishing kinds-new kinds-EXtremities-faing bk-hurt keps going On!
surely,I wont supress these lil new problmz coz fr once atlest theyv been teaching me 'newer ways' along to deal wd 'them'.. n yea! smtym I pity those who dunt even try2 step ahead afraid 2 fall in sm pit but i take these lil lil pits as chance 2 'Learn' n avoid biger pit Fall later .
Na! falling in 'pits' is no obsessive compulsive pasion dt i crave for but If I jus knw/ponder before or be aware befrehand thn i cud jus a lil les hurt n slow-a-ley eradicate probabilty of falling off its roots!!
well! its 100% fool prove idea experience over mentionable personalities by Me! :) It was (bk to) those few -a-lines whch hs taught me 2 LIVE BEING FULLY AWARE of wat i'm Doing!!
from lil acts of eating,walking to bigger oHio hIGhs I've been doing things in my Full concious being keepin in mind wat i'm doing/gonna do wud be smthing i'l solely be responsible for so i dunt repent in future later. i knw sm ppl mite think its foolish 2 actualy think soo much before doing an act (any fr dt mter) but I say y dunt gv a minute or two 2 jus gv it a thought~it wont harm afterall but mite cancle the probabilites of repenting later in life..
dats y I dunt sob over things now knwing i must hv indulegent into it in fuller sense... to relish it forever! (nt jus fr wake f the moment) . this surely has made me happier person frm within nt jus toothy smiley one.. I love to indulge in sane/insane SinS but giving No tearful nyts fr my pilows even if i end up wd no so expected consequences.. probably dats y i can call Sin A Sin ! :)

Extreme LIFE though has its own vantage points.It keeps me High till moment I fly High but rest half the other Extreme follow- bk on ground n being SOBER!as I can be..
well! balance though is one thing iv been trying 2 inculcate within Me. Some ppl take it wrong considering a Libran-a sign of scale (balance) not knowing dt 1 scale is always up while other hanging down->reflecting Extremities in nature!
No! I dunt strive fr perfection i mean wat Fun u left wd no scope of improvment jus stagnant.. again I dunt strive fr perfect balance but lil bouncing bk to keep balance coz i dread those half the extreme f high flying opposite to such extent dat offlate this weird looking 'Depresion' seemed hv gvn close call number f tyms..
No! i cant live a painful,Gloomy life. . its happier life f others around whch keep me Intact n going! Happines cmz closest frm state of 'LoVe'. .receiving if i'm mayb priviledged is wat i feel but mking others priviledge by mine is wat i more sought out for! but tym agn loving becms extreme -keepin up wd my nature- Here i'm trying to learn to wait fr my 20 back until i start on wd my 40th hving away trail! Its with tym hence dat U learn who deserves ur 100n fr whose even 20back ur Worth for!
yes!! marganilized, lil indifrent i mite mk others feel but its smbody's real 20 dat I wait for!
I'm some1 way above others (i tk pride)!
No beauty I mean leave Money until few yrs. but I posses my own charm wd Exuberating smile(thnks 2 ortho),compassion n confidence to make U Love bk Me once U knw wat i'm worth FoR!!